An "Ode" to the Working Women

I am frustrated. I have been frustrated for a while.

That frustration has been building over several years after I watch time after time, senior women fight for roles they have earned, and are more than competent in performing, that after they get into them - they realise they are in a new system and no-one told them the rules.

That system then erodes their confidence to the point where they start to think its them, and that they aren't up to the task and either leave - or get driven out.

Well guess what - it isn't us.

An ode to the women who did everything right - and still found themselves lost.

To the women who studied hard, who earned the degrees, who built the careers brick by brick, with discipline, intelligence, and quiet determination.

To the women who stayed late when others left, who carried the weight no one formally gave them, but everyone relied on.

To the women who led without authority, who stabilised teams, who absorbed pressure, who made broken systems work at a cost no one ever measured.

To the women who balanced ambition and responsibility, career and family, expectation and reality - and did it all without dropping the standard.

You were told:

• Work hard.
• Be capable.
• Be collaborative.
• Be resilient.

Be everything - but never "too" much. You can never be "too" anything. I WANT to be "too", I WANT to be "extra", because thats what made me, me. The high performer. 

And you listened. And now?

You feel disappointed. Disillusioned. Disconnected from the very identity you spent years building.

You look at your career and think: “I did everything I was supposed to do.

So why does it feel like this?” Let me say this clearly.

You were not wrong.

But the system you trusted was never designed to reward you fairly. It was designed to extract from you.

Your capability. Your care. Your restraint. Your willingness to keep going even when things didn’t feel right.

And over time, that extraction doesn’t just exhaust you.

It erodes you.

Until one day, you don’t recognise yourself anymore. So where do you go next?

Not backwards. Not into proving yourself again. Not into working harder for a system that already showed you its limits.

You go inward first. You separate who you are from what the system made you carry.

You reclaim: your standards, your voice, your boundaries, your definition of success.

You stop asking: “How do I fix this?”

And start asking: “Is this even mine to fix?”

Because this is the shift.

You are not here to stabilise broken systems anymore. You are here to choose where your capability goes.

That might look like:

• redefining your role on your terms
• stepping out of environments that diminish you
• rebuilding your confidence outside of organisational validation
• finding or creating spaces where your contribution is seen, not consumed

And yes - it might feel unfamiliar.

Because for the first time, you are not performing for approval. You are making decisions for yourself.

Here is the truth no one tells you:

The moment you stop over-giving to the wrong system is the moment your power starts to return.

Not loudly. Not all at once. But steadily.

In your clarity. In your choices. In your refusal to shrink to fit something that no longer deserves you.

You are not behind. You are not broken.

The system is. So change it.

J x