Fitting in vs Belonging. Retrospective blog from Women in Leadership Summit

Don't you love Facebook memories? (You know you do!) I had this one come up from two years ago when I was invited to be a speaker at the Liquid Learning Women In Leadership summit and this was the post I made as soon as I got off stage.

It's interesting to read old posts as it gives me an insight into not only what I was doing at the time, but as I read this — it gave me a reminder about how passionate I am about this topic. Women in leadership, and how hard it is, and how hard we have to fight sometimes. (Usually with the system.... and with ourselves).

I'm fighting with myself a lot at the moment, and raging against the system a little as I still struggle with the "be all to all, do it all, juggle it all" — and the struggle with yourself and the value you have in amongst the struggle, and the juggle.

Being honest — I've really failed with that lately. But that's another post for another time friends!

I hope you enjoy the re-read as I didn't make this a blog at the time, only a Facebook post — but it resonates more with me now, and I hope I get even the smallest amount of this confidence back. I need to, I deserve to, and I want to pass that on to others.

Women in Leadership Summit — post-speaker thoughts

I was speaking at the 32nd Women's Leadership Summit about shattering the glass ceiling and some things we can do to challenge that in our careers — and one of the things I spoke about was authenticity.

I've always been inspired by Brené Brown's work so I referenced her several times today — but the biggest thing I wanted people to walk away with: "an authentic you is better than an imitation them."

Read that again.

Why? Being authentic brings diversity. Diversity challenges the status quo. It drives new ways of thinking, new ideas. It drives innovation — and innovation is one of an organisation's greatest competitive advantages today.

I asked the women in the room to put their hands up, be brave, and tell me their top 3 strengths. It garnered the reaction I thought it would. Heads down. Lack of eye contact. Not wanting to speak up and be heard. I had one.

The point of me asking that question was simple: I want women to back themselves more. Know their strengths, own them, and do more of them. It inspires confidence from those around them when they do.

The biggest challenges women face in their careers — based on the Women's Rising 2023 Voices at Work report — is lack of confidence. What! Imposter syndrome, fear of failure, fear of judgement, and lack of career opportunities are the others.

The top reasons women face challenges in their careers — and largely, it's about what we say to ourselves, about ourselves. Change it.

Part of successful career navigation is finding both a mentor and a sponsor. A mentor provides feedback, coaching, and support. A sponsor advocates for you when you aren't in the room. Get both.

What challenges things like the gender pay gap — hello, 19% — and female executive and board representation? Confidence. Confidence to challenge. Confidence to call out. Confidence to want to do more. We need to own that.

I said something controversial as my fifth belief for shattering the glass ceiling: that we are sometimes our own glass ceiling.

It is exacerbated by societal norms and expectations, sure — but largely, limits are things we put on ourselves based on our self-worth. Not our self-confidence, as confidence comes from doing and doing it again and again — but our self-worth. What value we attach to ourselves as human beings and what we decide is acceptable for ourselves.

Embrace who you are. Embrace what that brings to your organisations — and remember, glass can be broken when hit at the right angle, with the right amount of force.

Smash it.

Don't fit in because it's easier.

I love Brené Brown's work — if this resonated, watch her short talk on fitting in vs belonging. It will challenge your perception like it did mine.

J x.